Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss; Profile Books Ltd; Price: Rs.195; 209 pp

It’s an eyesore to which my eye is unfailingly drawn every morning before I hunker down to the task of parsing, phrasing, dressing up and generally rendering EducationWorld intelligible to our half-a-million readers of whom at least one will hopefully do a Moses and lead the people of India out of the wilderness of dangerously levelled down neta-babu socialism. Prominently displayed in the premises of the office next door — professedly a fairly successful telecom equipment and services company — is the stern notice: Visitor’s entry only with permission.

Initially this eye-catching sign provoked some amusement but the obstinacy with which this obvious error is adhered to is increasingly irritating and provokes alarmist explanations why Indian industry has a mere 0.6 percent of world trade. Maybe people abroad just don’t understand what our businessmen are talking about. But this particular grammatical bloomer has also served the useful purpose of being a daily reminder of the importance of punctuation in communications, especially given that those in the communications business (such as this reviewer) are (despite a legal system which is the pits) always vulnerable to writs of defamation.

Of course one shouldn’t over-emphasise the importance of impeccable English punctuation in a heterogeneous, multi-cultural society in which half the population can barely read and write their names in any language. I often find myself keeling over with sheer gratitude if as editor of this newsmagazine I receive a paragraph which is intelligible, never mind the punctuation.

But that is precisely the point that Lynne Truss, hitherto a not-so-successful novelist and broadcaster and now the celebrated author of this dark horse bestseller, wants to — and does — make. Improper punctuation can diabolically alter the intelligibility of a written sentence, as recounted in the apocryphal — but you never know — story encapsulated in the title of this engaging book. Which is to the effect that a panda (a large furry endangered animal found in the upper reaches of China) walks into a restaurant, orders dinner and having done, instead of paying the bill, draws a gun and fires away at the ceiling and crystal ware.

“Why?” asks the bewildered maitre d’ as the panda heads for the exit.

“I’m a panda. Look it up,” he says tossing him a badly punctuated wildlife manual. The waiter does so and comes across this entry: “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like animal native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

This clever punctuation joke about the perils of misjudged punctuation is the point of departure for a detailed investigation-cum-lament into abysmal standards of English grammar and punctuation, if at all it is taught, in the very home and epicentre of the English language. According to Truss until 1960, punctuation was routinely taught in British schools. Currently a recently introduced National Curriculum “ensures that when children are eight, they are drilled into the use of the comma, even if their understanding of grammar at such an early age is a bit hazy”. But during the interregnum for over a quarter century, “punctuation and English grammar were simply not taught in the majority of schools” in Britain, says Truss. This explains the rash of misplaced apostrophes, commas, semicolons and the poor grammar which has afflicted the English language in Shakespeare country itself. Not surprisingly this devastating virus has since winged its way around the world, including the office next door even as paradoxically English has become the language of international business and diplomacy, eclipsing French which at one time entertained pretensions to rival it.

This is why in the interests of furthering international trade and commerce which economist Adam Smith painstakingly explained long ago will spread global prosperity, this virus has to be checkmated and Truss who describes herself as a stickler for punctuation, has joined battle against it. Nor is it a mere purist’s or pedant’s battle. Incorrect punctuation can dramatically alter the meaning of a sentence.

Among the numerous examples the author cites to make this point is this sentence differently punctuated. “A woman without her man, is nothing,” makes perfect sense even if it is likely to outrage feminists. They are likely to punctuate the same sentence as “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Great are the perils of careless punctuation even in English as she is spoke. For example a tonal inflexion in response to the commonplace query “Do you love me?” which is heard as “I do?” instead of “I do.” can fetch you a thick ear or even a rapidly travelling glass vase. Likewise consider the devastating insinuation inherent in a re-punctuation of the commonplace Shakespearean query: “What would you with the king?” to “What? Would you with the king!”

There are many such examples of correct and incorrect usage of punctuation in this witty and never hectoring or didactic work. This perhaps explains its unexpected good showing at the box office. Divided into six engaging chapters it highlights common mismanagement of the apostrophe, comma, dash, semicolon and hyphen and provides refreshing insights into how they can — and should — be used not only to clarify but also to polish prose. Certainly for me it clarified the confusion about using apostrophes in matters such as do’s and dont’s where apostrophes are justified despite the words not falling within the categories of possessive determiners or possessive pronouns. The apostrophes as written are correct because they indicate plurals of words. Another useful explanation is the differentiation of ‘it’s’ from ‘its’ which many graduates of the Indian education system need to appreciate.

Of course a writer or communicator can overdo the punctuation bit and cross the borderline between clear communication and fussy, tiresome pedantry. Truss anticipates and deals with this possibility in an engaging chapter aptly titled ‘Airs and Graces’ which is instructive about where to draw the line which in the final analysis is somewhat arbitrary. Personally I believe that the rule in punctuation should be — when in doubt, don’t. That’s why EducationWorld is sparing in its use of commas, semicolons and especially exclamation marks. There is a good argument that communicative prose shouldn’t splutter and stutter along like a car on a cold morning. Likewise despite short, crisp American news report style sentences being tiresomely — and simplistically — recommended to this reviewer, longer sentences which explain complex matters are not necessarily unappealing. Provided of course, they are properly punctuated.

Dilip Thakore

Useful handbook

Worldwide Multilingual Phrase Book by Eric Dondero Rittberg; Portside Language Service; Price: Rs.570; 248 pp

The Indian economy recently attained a historic landmark when its foreign exchange surplus crossed the $100 billion mark. This is largely a result of the massive growth of industry and business especially in IT and other technology areas in the post-liberalisation era. Globalisation has also opened up a host of new opportunities for the hitherto shackled Indian industry. The bad old days of licences for small change foreign exchange are just a bad memory and a large — and growing — number of businessmen, tourists and students are travelling abroad to discover new and lucrative opportunities and to open up new markets. Conversely, the number of foreign investors visiting India’s tech-savvy cities and business centres is multiplying by the day.

A prerequisite of transacting business is adequate language and communication skills — not only in English but also in other languages spoken around the world. Without basic language and communication skills it is difficult to converse, argue, discuss, convince or close big or small business deals. But how does one learn a new language and converse with ease in a short span of time? Traditional learning systems require months — even years — to learn and master a language. But with new and innovative techniques and publications like Eric Dondero Rittberg’s Worldwide Multilingual Phrase Book, learning the basic phrases of 40 languages has become easy.

The best thing about this compendium is its compact size. Printed in an easy-to-carry pocket-book format, the 248-page volume is packed with conversational everyday phrases in over 40 languages with verbatim translations into English, presented in a reader- friendly fashion. The languages covered in the book vary from Spanish to Greek, Swahili to Cantonese, Vietnamese to Yoruba (West Africa) and Bulgarian to Gaelic (Ireland) among others.

A widely travelled US-based linguist-cum-interpreter and certified language instructor, Rittberg who has also authored Vacation Spanish; Fast Spanish and Fast Chinese is well qualified to write this useful companion guide. It offers valuable tips on how to master the basics and converse in a foreign language. Hardly surprising that Rittberg is a language-learning aficionado who speaks in many tongues including Spanish, Italian, French, Portuguese, German, Russian, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, Greek, Swahili and Dutch. A political science alumnus of Florida State University, Rittberg has travelled in more than 25 countries including India, China, Japan, Korea among others.

The book comprises 16 sections: Preface; The Latin languages; The Germanic Languages; The Slavic Languages; Finno-Ugric; Greek; Turkic; Semitic; African; Indo-Persian; Chinese; East Asian; South-east Asian; Austornesian; Other Really Exotic Languages and Further Language ending with a brief autobiography of the author. Plus a bonus chapter on great websites and tips for further language learning.

Indeed the unique selling proposition of this useful handbook is its easy-to-use structure. Each section is further divided into numerous one to many page sub-sections, explaining different techniques and tips on building language-learning skills. Historically or culturally connected languages are grouped together and the colloquial phrases provided are adequate to help in nearly every situation a visitor to foreign shores is likely to be confronted with. A note on grammar, followed by a set of basic phrases, key propositions, numbers, general, extra and special vocabulary, makes the process of learning a language simple and easy.

Though the book addresses the needs and situations which globetrotting American businessmen are likely to encounter, it will prove very useful to Indian and other businessmen as well. “We want it quick, easy and most importantly, we want it all now,” says Rittberg delineating the expectations of the new genre of peripatetic businessmen.

“For those who want to learn a language fluently, there is more than a sufficient amount of material available at the bookstores, libraries and online. However, for those Americans who have no time to obtain fluency and who just want to learn some basics for a variety of languages, there are little if any materials available all in one source,” says Rittberg. “The purpose of this phrase book is to teach individuals the basics of essential words and phrases for a variety of different languages from around the world,” he writes.

This objective is sufficiently realised by WMPB. It’s an excellent resource book for every traveller going abroad. With this handbook ready, the globetrotter need not worry about prompt communication in another language.

Boa viagem!

Rahul Vasisht