Children need to develop relationships-building skills future workers need such as being able to motivate, collaborate, persevere and navigate through a buffet of freelance opportunities

In all the discussions, debates and deliberations on the need to enhance learning outcomes in America’s classrooms and improve performance on playing fields, I am yet to hear anyone talk about the most fundamental and timeless ingredient required for effectively educating our youth: relationships building.

A century ago, education in America was dispensed in one-room schoolhouses, where teachers and children of all ages knew each other well and learning happened not merely as the teacher lectured, but as life happened. Children were also schooled in church basements where a vicar or minister passed on his knowledge to young people and invested time, money and effort in them. While these children and youth didn’t have video, PowerPoint slides or internet connections, they had something precious which today’s children don’t have: relationships in the midst of communities. 

In his film, Most Likely to Succeed (2015), Greg Whiteley highlights how static, traditional pedagogies have remained pervasive for far too long, negatively impacting the economy. The school system, he says, was fashioned after a Prussian model designed over 100 years ago. Its main purpose was to download content into students’ minds, with success or failure determined by standardised tests. This lecture and textbooks pedagogy bores and disengages children in America’s classrooms to this day.

Quite obviously these pedagogies are unable to prepare children for modern workplaces. Today information is ubiquitous. Children can look up any fact on their cell phones, a computer can defeat Ken Jennings, the world’s best ‘Jeopardy!’ contestant at a game of information retrieval. Computers can write routine news stories and handle backroom legal work. And yet, our tests-driven schools are training children for the type of rote tasks that can be done much more effectively by computers.

Whiteley’s documentary is about relationships, not subject matter. The film argues that educators need to take content off centrestage and focus on teaching children to develop the relationship building skills future workers need — such as being able to motivate, collaborate, persevere and navigate through a complex buffet of freelance opportunities. I believe that relationships-building is at the heart of instruction (teaching, coaching, mentoring, etc).

How do we build relationships between teachers (including parents) and youth to more effectively prepare young people for the future? Here are my reflections on the issue:

Caring. We need to respect young people as unique individuals who have their own values, perceptions, fears and aspirations and who deserve to be acknowledged, heard, and negotiated with. In short, youth need to be treated with dignity. Welcome them, treat them as worthy of personal attention, and show that you care about them as individuals. 

Authenticity. True caring about kids requires more than talking and listening. It also means being real with them. Being real doesn’t involve trying to copy their dress and gestures and talk their language, unless of course, you are part of their subculture. Being real does not mean being nasty if you are in a bad mood or sharing your disappointments with a young person. To me it means being oneself rather than trying to be cool. It means owning one’s beliefs rather than turning them into generic mandates for everyone. It means expressing one’s humanity in appropriate ways. I am not always right. I don’t live in the gym; I have another life. I am not always upbeat. Being real means being vulnerable. Telling youth “I blew it,” whether the “it” is a soccer penalty kick or an attempt to solve some problem, is acknowledgement that I don’t get everything right every time.

Fairness and respect. Beyond demonstrations of caring and authenticity, we establish rapport with students by emphasising, modeling, and practicing fairness and respect. Numerous surveys have shown that these attributes are hallmarks of a successful teacher. In fact, students interviewed on their ideas of effective teachers consistently stress the importance of fairness and respect at all levels of schooling — from elementary through high school.

Social interaction. Social interactions provide teachers, coaches, and mentors opportunities to demonstrate caring, authenticity, fairness and respect. The ability to relate to young people and make positive connections with them is important for creating positive learning environments and promoting achievement in classrooms and playing fields. Aspects of effective connection with youth in the classroom or on a games field require the following: 

• Behaving in a friendly and personal manner while maintaining appropriate teacher/coach boundaries
• Working with students as opposed to doing things for them
• Investing youth with responsibility
• Allowing them to participate in decision making
• Paying attention to their points of view
• Displaying a sense of fun, playful spirit and humour

So the next time you’re wondering what’s missing in instruction (or what could make your work with students, athletes, or children more effective), try working at cultivating better relationships with them. You will be surprised by the results!

(Dr. George Selleck is a San Francisco-based advisor to EduSports, Bangalore)