My twin girls (8) are somewhat plump but not overweight. Yet people make fun of their physique. I feel bad when I see them hurt by rude comments of extended family members and friends. Do I need to change our family’s daily diet?

Dr. Pallavi Rao Chaturvedi

— Harika Reddy, Hyderabad

Awareness of the problem is a problem half-solved. If you believe your daily meals are unhealthy, please change them. You could switch to eating more vegetables and fruits, reduce junk food intake and limit portion at meal times.
As far as bullying or taunts, instruct your twins not to take them seriously. Most important, you need to encourage them to exercise and focus on physical fitness. Enrol them in sports training and/or outdoor activities. To prevent childhood obesity, this is the right time to set dietary and physical fitness routines. There is no need to feel bad or guilty about making healthy lifestyle changes.

My daughter is not as forward as her peers. For instance when her teacher asks children to volunteer for an activity, she doesn’t raise her hand as fast as others and gets left out. Please advise.
— Pari Shirodkar, Mumbai

Some children are inherently introverted and others are extroverts. I suggest you speak to her teacher and ask her help to draw your daughter out. You could also encourage her to speak up when she wants to volunteer for a project. It’s important to explain that if she doesn’t express herself she might lose great opportunities to showcase her talents and skills. However, most important, be kind and give her time, especially because children are returning to in-person schooling after two years of pandemic education lockdown.

My sister’s 14-year-old daughter has been witness to her parents’ turbulent marriage. Her father is an abusive alcoholic. She hates the very idea of marriage and insists that she will never marry. Will this unhealthy perception about marriage remain with her?
— Anxious aunt, Delhi

Contrary to popular perception, childhood trauma takes a long time to heal. She needs the counsel of a professional child psychologist to overcome this trauma. Over time, the healing will happen, but it can’t be forced. Also at the age of 14, it’s premature to discuss marriage. As she grows into adulthood she will have experiences that will change her perceptions about life and marriage. Right now, focus on getting her professional help.

My six-year-old son loves to go to school. He is not hyperactive but I think classes are too boring and hence he tends to talk to others. His teachers believe he is hyperactive and want me to get him assessed for ADHD. Please advise.
—Vaibhavi Sood, Bengaluru

Too often, parents and teachers wrongly diagnose hyperactivity or ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) for active and energetic children. Merely because a child is talkative or distracted, doesn’t mean he has ADHD. If the teacher insists, there is no harm in getting him assessed by a paediatrician or therapist for ADHD symptoms. It is always better to rule it out at this early stage. You could perhaps ask the teacher to engage him with additional worksheets or responsibilities to canalise his abundant energy.

(Dr. Pallavi Rao Chaturvedi is a parenting coach, founder – Get Set Parent, and vice-president, Early Childhood Association of India)