Life is a great school, and nature is the ultimate teacher, but without awareness you cant hear the teacher. Awareness transforms lifes lessons into wisdom; it can translate confusing circumstances and events into useful knowledge. Awareness, then, is the beginning of all learning. — Dan Millman, former trampoline world champion and coachThese days coaching or any form of teaching is well, tangled. There are moments of joy — when parents, coaches and children work together towards shared goals. Then there are other moments — confusing, painful and joyless — when you cant connect with your children or team, when some children seem to be from an alien planet, or when your knowledge and expertise seem hopelessly inadequate.
If you are a coach or teacher who never has a bad day, or who has them but doesnt care, flip this page and move on. The advice in this column is for teachers who have bad as well as good days. It is for coaches and mentors who care about the anxiety, anguish and mental suffering of sportspersons when they fail to attain their aspirations, goals and targets. It is for coaches and teachers who refuse to compromise on delivering a satisfying sports experience to players and athletes.
People who care for their wards — and most do — know that the only way to keep going is to go in deeper. We must enter, not evade, the tangle of what it means to be a coach or teacher so we can under-stand better and manage the job in a way that lifts our own spirits and inspires us to continue serving our students.
There are many variables a coach or teacher must untangle to get to the core of what works for her programme. But the most fundamental variable which is responsible for most of the difficulties of coaching today is: we coach or teach who we are.
Teaching, like any human activity, emerges from our inwardness — our emotions, personality, values, and beliefs. I am aware that when I am mentoring a young coach or a teacher or presenting a workshop to my staff, the condition of my soul — who I am inside — is being exposed: my philosophy on life, my commitment to young people, and how I envision the relationship between teacher and student.
But as teachers, seldom do we ask ourselves the ‘who question — who are we and how does the quality of our personality shape — or misshape — youth, their parents and peers. In general, coaches and teachers focus on ‘what questions — what system and what skills will I teach? Sometimes we go a bit deeper and ask ‘how questions — how do I get my wards to perform? How to prescribe the appropriate methods and techniques needed? Occasionally, they ask ‘why questions — why am I teaching/coaching? Why is it important to me?
Undoubtedly, these what, how, and why questions are important. But they fail to address the issue I am raising in this column: the importance of the inner terrain of the coach or teacher. Consistently good teaching demands self-knowledge. Then the question becomes, what can one do to acquire self-knowledge?
Former secretary general of the United Nations Dag Hammersjold once remarked: The more faithfully you listen to the voice within you, the better you will hear what is sounding outside. Connecting with inner values requires self-exploration and interest in examining the priorities that drive ones professional and personal lives. Some successful methodologies for clarifying your values and ‘inner voice are:
• Make time for reflection. Whether it is through meditation or simply by way of time spent alone in thought, it is useful to occasionally disconnect from your everyday activities and associated stressors to connect with your thoughts and sentiments.
• Write a tribute to yourself. This is a common values clarification exercise that helps identify your beliefs, strengths and deepest qualities. Imagine you are preparing for an end-of-season annual banquet. Write the speech to introduce yourself, and then develop your appreciation speech as well. Its a stimulating exercise!
• Remember the yearnings and aspirations you experienced as a child and youth intent upon performing well on the playing field or in track and field events. It will help you become more empathetic and supportive of your wards.
• List the qualities of people you admire or those who have inspired you. Note down the reasons why you are attracted to their messages and leadership styles. This activity forces you to discover what really matters to you most and the attributes you value.
The challenges of contemporary coaching and teaching are often a mirror of the struggles and issues of a coach or teachers inner life. If you are willing to look into the mirror and not run from what you see, you have the opportunity to acquire the self-knowledge that is crucial to becoming a great coach or teacher.

(Dr. George Selleck is a San Francisco-based advisor to EduSports, Bangalore)